Embracing the Creative Journey + The first original abstracts of 2019
At the end of 2018 I kept feeling the inner nudge to push myself, that there was something that I needed to try to create even though I honestly had no idea what it was supposed to looked like. This small collection of abstracts are my brave attempt to create for the sake of creating. To put marks on paper and examine my intentions.
As I worked on these paintings something began to become clear to me. It wasn’t about a perfect first approach. It was about examining each layer. Appreciating what it brought to the whole. As the artist I can look at each finished painting and see the 10 or more places in the process where I could have stopped and called the painting finished. However, for me the challenge was to see beyond what I was comfortable with and continue on the journey of creating. To try and find the hidden layers, the bits and pieces that made me a little (a lot) nervous. “What if that color throws everything off balance?” What if I take this loose paint and pour it over those previous layers and see where it takes me?” “What if I hate it and it was a waste?”
Well the answer to all of those was
(1) It’s never a waste. I have to create and make something new in order to stay alive. It’s this deep language inside of me that words cant express. It’s the way I see love, landscapes and the challenges of everyday moments.
(2) I’ve learned that it’s totally ok to hate a painting. I grown enough in my practice to see the beauty of a failed painting and all the lessons it teaches me. Plus, there is nothing better then a good layer of gesso to cover and create a new blank canvas.
(3) I have to trust myself. I can’t look to someone else for answers to how I need to finish a painting. Only I can complete it. I have to trust my God given intuition and vision. I have to trust my gut, my process and the way my body moves. It’s a terrifying mix of self-trust and completely letting go. It’s being open and vulnerable to the process as a whole, even if thats years in the making.
This level of contentment with the chaos and energy of life is something that I hope these paintings bring to their permanent homes one day.
For me this small collection of abstracts are a way to reflect on the layers that make up each of our journeys. We all have joys, sorrow and every beautiful moment in between. Without the difficulties we couldn’t possibly appreciate the good at the depth that is possible from the other side.
Each painting in this small series is a physical reflection on this idea that it’s all intertwined and each season deserves its own attention & appreciation.