RAMBLINGS VOL 9
To be honest I dont really know what Im going to say right now. My heart has been stirring with mixed emotions and restless nights. I guess thats why I have these "rambling" posts because sometimes you just have to ramble it out in order to find where you're going.
I'm a good sleeper, and that may be strange to say but Ive always been able to fall asleep quickly and anywhere, which made all of our overseas traveling a whole lot easier. But the past few nights I have been restless, my mind feels like a jumbled mess of "what ifs" and unknowns. I know I choose JOY as my word to focus on during this year and I dont find it ironic that as soon as I said this Im being challenged to choose joy on a daily basis.
Joy doesn't always come easily, it doesn't always look like smiles and ecstatic emotion. Sometimes I think that joy is heavily mixed with hope or maybe having hope allows me to more freely express joy?
Right now there are a lot of unknowns in our life. Where will we live after this semester, will we get jobs, do we do something outside of the box and unexpected? I have never been one to do great with change which I find it funny because there has been a lot of change in my life. But with a 4 year chapter coming to an end, my heart is a little anxious and I am having to trust the Lord with every little thought and feeling of uneasiness.
I hope that Im making the things I need to a priority, remembering the people that the Lord has put in my life. Making time to create and stretch myself to live further then the limits I think I have. I never want to let the fear of failing or others opinion hold me back from trying new things or doing things a little different than everyone else. I know that for this next year I really want to be unafraid. To look change in the face and walk straight ahead.
..................................................................................................................................................